Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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