oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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