I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
