u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
