If i come over, it means nothing
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
