Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm passing your future prison.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
