when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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