What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
