That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
