I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
