So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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