Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize