then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
