I didn't shave. On purpose
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
