I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
