office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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