at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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