I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Oh god it's open bar.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
