So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
