I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
