Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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