ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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