too bad you live with your parents still
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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