As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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