Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
