They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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