I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize