I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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