oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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