Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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