I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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