I'll bet she douches with gravy.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Randomize
