The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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