Fuck appropriateness.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
