I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
