I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
