I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
