I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
