There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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