awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
