it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
