Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
