I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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