I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
