mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
