i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think my vagina is haunted
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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