there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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