ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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