Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
