Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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