What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize