My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
