Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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