1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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