You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
