So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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