I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
