At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
