Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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