I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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