You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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