i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
