i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize