Please, let me fuck your mom
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize