OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We are all done wearing pants today
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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