Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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