Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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