coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This is my gift to your gina
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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