Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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