my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
