Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
