Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize