yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
