So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize