i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
well you can't waste a boner
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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