that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
