I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
