I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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